Side Effect: Oh the emotions we feel . . .

One of the side effects of changing your diet is emotions. It isn't just a side effect of going Vegan, it is a side effect of trying to eat a more healthy, whole foods (unprocessed) diet. I want to share my emotions story with you and my theory about it. After all, as the blog title says, I'm here to share my journey with you.

I cried last night. I cried and cried. If you have read my blog, then you know a few weeks ago, I had a total melt down and cried then too. But last night was completely unexpected. My husband is having a difficult time moving into a 100 percent Vegan diet. When we transitioned to Veganism, there were some meat products left in the house. I told him and the kids that they could eat the meat products until they were gone, but once they were gone, they were gone, they're gone. Well to their shock and awe, none of them cooks, so they didn't end up eating the meat products. That means a few frozen meat products got left in the back of the freezer and were never eaten or thrown away.

(above: a picture of me and my husband at a showing of Young Frankenstein when we first transitioned to Veganism--I've lost so much weight since then!)

So to set the scene, we had a great weekend. My daughter had her birthday party, we hung out with my parents, we hung out as a family. We just had a lovely, relaxing weekend. I felt so refreshed. My husband also spent the entire weekend working on his dump truck (a project he is working on as a side business). He didn't get home last night until after 9 pm. He was tired and hungry. There was storm, so I had a headache (which I usually get when the pressure in the air changes).

He walked in the door and said, "I'm hungry." I said, "there is hummus, avocados, lettuce, rice, etc." But then I went to bed because I was tired and not feeling well. Then came the smell. The smell of meat. The smell of cooking meat. He was making hamburgers. I was fine. I called him in the room. He said, "It is fine, it is pregan." Pregan is the term we use for items we had before we became Vegan thus they are prevegan or pregan. "You said we could eat the leftover meat in the house."

I had said that. Seven weeks ago. Nevertheless, I had said that. So, I wasn't mad, really. But then he did something nearly unforgivable. He walked in the room with a hamburger, set it on the bed next to me, and said, "I made you one." I yelled at him to get it away from me. Our oldest daughter screamed that he had reached a new level of cruel, asked if I was ok, and shut my bedroom door.

As soon as the door shut, I started crying. I wasn't crying because he cooked meat. I wasn't crying for the cow or anything like that. We had that meat in the house and had agreed that he could cook it. I didn't want to eat the hamburger. I have absolutely no desire to eat a hamburger. But there I was balling on my bed. And yes, I'm still in the phase where hamburgers smell really good.

So why was I crying? Here is why I think I was crying last night and several times over the last few weeks.

For years now, I have used food to stuff down anything I was feeling. Normally, you want to eat something, you eat it. You feel happy, you eat something. You feel sad, you eat something. You want the hamburger, you eat it. I think I dulled everything with food. I pushed down every emotion with food! I stuffed myself with food. Sugar, caffeine, fat, tasty food made me feel . . . different.

In the old pregan (preVegan) days, I would have just ate the hamburger even though I wasn't hungry, even though it violated my personal convictions. Now I actually have to deal with my emotions. I can't just eat them away. I can't stuff my desire or my sadness or my anger or even my happiness in a hamburger and eat it.

The key is not to give in. I have found that the best way to deal with these unexpected emotional bursts is just to let them come. I found out that if I just let them come, they pass, and I am done and can move on. I have also found that I enjoy the happy moments in my life so much more because they aren't being punctuated by where we are going to eat. I thought something would be missing, but it isn't (but that is for a different blog post). When I first decided to transition to Veganism, many people warned about this emotional bubble outburst. I didn't really believe it would happen to me.

It really does happen. I think I am better for letting it happen. It actually makes me feel more emotionally balanced. I feel good about that. You guys help me too because I can talk to you about it. So thanks. I think that is key. You need to be able to talk to someone about it. You can always talk to me! Leave a comment and share your emotional outbursts and how you deal with them with us.